In Confucianism, the most important value is respect for one’s parents, or filial piety. Taking care of one’s parents and family as well as honoring one’s ancestors comes before all other duties. For instance, the child must continue the family line through marriage and not shame the family name. In order to avoid dishonoring the family requires being moral in society and never engaging in illegal acts and violence. Certain other values spring from this focus on filial piety, such as being honest, hard working, and compassionate.
Compassion, or ren, is another prioritized value in Confucianism; it derives from Confucius’ belief to “Do not do to others what you do not wish yourself.” If one does not treat others well, then one will not be treated well by others. When one treats another with compassion, however, that other will reciprocate with compassion to the original compassionate one and to others, and society will be a kinder, more appealing place to live. Confucius thus thinks of compassion as a virtue that not only helps the people around you, but helps the individual as well: “Since you yourself desire standing, then help others achieve it; since you yourself desire success then help others attain it.” Moreover, Confucius thought that kindness is the source of all virtues, so without compassion none of the other beliefs of Confucius would hold any value.
According to Confucius, “If one did not possess a keen sense of the well-being and interests of others his ceremonial manners signified nothing.” Thus, without compassion, the worth of rituals decreases. Rituals, or li, are another value of Confucianism; they are thought of as the only way to maintain the “virtue” present in humans at birth. Confucius held an optimistic view of humanity, believing that all are naturally good and compassionate, but he also believed that this goodness would have to be cultivated; humans have the seeds of goodness already in them, but only rituals give these seeds the proper nourishment to bloom. Rituals are usually performed at temples for one’s ancestors to respect the value of filial piety, and during these ceremonies Confucians express thanks to their ancestors by giving obligatory gifts; outside of the temple, having a generally polite and demur nature is a ritual of respect to ancestors by maintaining the family name. For instance, a common ritual for gentlemen is to bow, and, for all humans, to yield to the demands of others.
Some Confucians, however, must yield to specific individuals more than others due to the Five Relationships of Confucianism. The Five Relationships are ruler to subject, parent to child, husband to wife, elder brother to younger brother, and friend to friend. These pairs all have specific duties to each other depending on the equality of the relationships. For instance, while the friend-to-friend relationship is equal, all of the others are hierarchical; the old are superior to the young and the men are superior to the women. Briefly, the duties of the relationships are as follows: the ruler must provide a stable government and set a good example for his subjects and his subjects in return must respect the ruler and be loyal to him; the parent must be kind and compassionate towards his child, and the child must reciprocate with filial piety; the husband must be virtuous towards his wife, and she must be faithful to him in return; the elder brother must care for the younger brother and set a good example, and the younger brother must be humble as well as obey and respect the elder brother; the friends must be compassionate, humane, and respectful towards each other. According to Confucius, only when these duties are properly fulfilled and all accept their place in society can order and stability exist in a community.